My name is Heather. I am a 25 year old mother, a wife, a photographer, a best friend, a cook, a foodie, a daughter, a sister, an esthetician, a depression struggler, a maid, a mormon, a people pleaser, a sun worshiper, and
I AM A FAT GIRL
These are just of few of the crazy lables that are thrown at all of us, and as much as we might say they are just words, and don't define us, they do. I have never been thin. I was often referred to as "big boned" "thick" "curvy". Those were just the nicer terms of saying that i was fat, had thunder thighs, and huge hips. I was always self conscious about my thighs, i remember the first time someone made fun of me for them in 5th grade saying i had "waffle iron thighs" because when i sat in a chair with square cutouts in the seat my leg fat squeezed through and it left an impression of squares like a waffle iron in my thighs. I cried. 5th grade, really? As women we are judged so much on our appearance, and especially our bodies. With Hollywood and Victoria's Secret models setting the standard. A crazy unhealthy standard.
I have always been a yo-yo dieter, and i love sweets and used to love fast food . I discoverd a miracle diet! the HCG diet all i had to do was inject a hormone into my stomach and eat 500 calories a day! and it worked, i lost 30 pounds in a month. and then i stopped and was doing ok until my dad ended up in the hospital with heart problems. I returned to emotional eating habits and put all 30 pounds back on in a matter of a month. Sure HCG helps you lose weight, but it doesn't teach you how to change your lifestyle I found I always complained about my weight but was i ever REALLY 100% committed to losing weight and being healthy? No, i don't think i was or else the little girl crying about her waffle iron thighs wouldn't be sitting here twelve years, a husband, and two kids later at
225 pounds and a size 16-18 depending on the brand.
I don't know what finally clicked inside me or the straw the broke the camels back. I think it might have been my oral surgeon telling me that I was a "Beautiful girl but if i could drop a few pounds before my Jaw Surgery it would be even better" .. but how it happened isn't as important that it happened. I put my foot down and said that's it self, we are no longer going to feel sorry about having a fat ass and are going to do something about it. I am counting my calories, making healthier choices, and exercising, that's right, the good old fashioned way! I have started this blog to have a record for myself to look back on, encourage those trying to lose weight as well and maybe inspire someone else to know that it just takes the will and the strength to start :)
